Thursday Lunchtime

I recently ended several on-going issues between me and my supervisor and I had a couple cold-hearted lessons that I learned from this experience.

  • I learned that there is no one that I can turn to in this agency if an employee is dealing with a harsh and unfair supervisor.  In fact, the system is designed to protect management and to throw up one roadblock after another for employees with complaints, issues and/or concerns.  In other words, you are defeated before you even start.
  • The other lesson learned is that I went into this ordeal with a firm belief that the system would work.  Everyone tells us that “We care!” or We have an open door policy.” or “We want to know your concerns and problems.” only they don’t and it’s only a ruse meant to intentionally deceive.

It’s hard for me to accept the fact that I was so incredibly naïve to believe that a system would work only to get that hard and cold slap across my face that is called reality.  It made me ask myself these questions:  “Is this something that a person of color or a woman or gay/lesbian person is faced with every day and has always been faced with?”  Then I asked myself this question:  “Is this an example of white privilege because I went in naively expecting the system to work only to find out that it’s built to only protect the few and to throw one obstacle after another at you in order to prevent you from winning?”

I wish that I had answers for those questions.  I wish that I knew if they were valid questions or if they are just questions that I asked myself due to sour grapes.  I went into my military career believing that I was worldly only to find out that I really didn’t know s**t about anything.  I ended my career now knowing what I consider to be a number of truths in this world with two if them being:

  • We’re all children of one Earth and we really need to learn to somehow get along with one another without killing each other.
  • I still don’t know s**t.

This experience was one cold-hearted life lesson for me to learn this late in my life if it was in fact an example of “white privilege”.  I had to fight my way up from poverty to get to where I am today, so nothing was handed to me.  It was all fought and paid for by hard work and determination.  But it makes me wonder how others are treated in this country and this world of ours.  It makes me think that maybe people are really tired of a system that is consisting failing them when it should work as advertised and promised.

There is a lot for me to think about over the next seven weeks when I am recuperating at home.