Tuesday Evening


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What is the actual concept behind zero as a temperature?  I have no friggen clue myself other than I had to practice the ancient Minnesota winter art of bundling of bundling before going outside.  I almost froze my face off but I saved it because because of the wool scarf that I had put around my neck.  I was able to pull it up to cover what was frozen and had lost all sensation of feeling.  I tried to speak but the words froze in the air as they came out of my mouth and went crashing to the ground where they got all jumbled up.  I suspect that that they will thaw out come Spring and make nonsensical sentences.

I trudged on the the ice and snow and I noticed what I thought was a pair of wooly mammoths walking up the street.  Come on now.  Did the temperatures open some sort of time warp portal in the darkening sky?  I didn’t have too much time to ponder on that cuz I had to beat down a sabre toothed tiger who wanted my for dinner.  I found that I had somehow channeled my inner neanderthal man to defend myself.  I didn’t know that it in me.  I had this sudden urge to club a woman on the head and drag her back to my cave but realized that was goofy cuz my garage does not qualify as a cave and some woman would probably club me instead.

I managed to find my way home and the heat of the fireplace started to thaw out my backside and that gray matter between my ears.  I realized that one has to be tough to live here and that’s not me.  I’m more of a “It’s looks pretty damn cold out there so let’s stay inside and drink a warm beverage” kinda guy.  I think it’s gonna be another long winter once again in central Minnesota.