1. If I make you breakfast in bed some morning, just say “Thank you!” I don’t want to hear any of this “How did you get in my house?” crap.
2. I talk a lotta s**t for someone who tips over whenever he looks up.
3. Momma said that I could be anything that I wanted to be when I grew up. I think it’s called identity theft nowadays.
4. I would start doing heavy workouts like I did back in the day when I was in the AF but I’m afraid I would meet a lotta new people. Like the Fire Department, the local Police, EMTs and people in the hospital Emergency Room that I didn’t meet the last time I was there.
5. When that day comes when the gummys ask me what it’s like to be an adult, I’ll keep interrupting them every 11 seconds or so. It will probably be better birth control for them versus the pill.