Tuesday Afternoon


I bundled up and braved the outdoors once again so I could get in an afternoon walk cuz “Hey!, I’m wanting to be a healthy guy.”  I swear to God two things happened …

  1. My ass froze and fell off.
  2. I saw polar bears walking down the street.

OK, maybe it wasn’t “real” polar bears.  It coulda been a snow drift or two or even maybe it was my eyes playing tricks on me.  Ya never really know once you’re over 50 and on medication.  I’ll blame Jason if you don’t buy into the meds excuse.  He’s a young guy with big shoulders to take one for the home team (also known as “The Man Club”).

As far as the ass thing goes; my jeans fit mucher betterer now.  Who woulda thunk it???

Tuesday Morning


It’s so cold out there that I saw a couple snowmen heading south to warm up.  And that’s not the worst of it.  We get to see that come Thursday morning.  We’re doomed I tell you!  Doomed!!!  I’m just gonna die!

Where is the Global Warming that Al Gore talked about?  I can use some of that right about now.  Better yet, let’s send all of this cold south of here.  Waaaaaay south of here.  To like some place like … Florida.  Yeh, Florida!  Let me invest in some orange juice concentrate futures first tho.