Wednesday Afternoon


Depression is something that I constantly battle since May of last year.  Maybe a switch or two in my lil’ ol’ pea brain are completely burnt out.  Maybe it’s due to the side effects of the meds that I take.  Maybe it’s having to completely accept that there is physical damages that just can’t be repaired.  Maybe it’s due to the constant pain in my brain.  I really don’t know.

What I do know is that I eat whenever I’m having a serious bout with it (like these past 2 weeks).  And I usually eat sweets when I start eating.  I tell myself and I reconcile it by remembering that I could be doing something far more destructive such as …

  • Drinking alcohol.  Nah.  That doesn’t mix well with my meds and I avoid it even tho my oldest thinks I’m hoarding Rose’ right now.
  • Smoking tobacco.  Nah, I like to breathe too much and it was a real pain to quit 16 years ago; so why start again?
  • Doing drugs.  Drugs?  I don’t even like the meds that I have to take now.
  • Cutting myself.  Ewww!  That means having to see blood.  No thanks!
  • Arguing or being violent.  Nah.  I already have a headache.  Besides, your Grandma could probably kick my ass right now given the physical limitations that I still experience.  I know that she could definitely outrun me.

I suppose there are a ton of other worse things that I could be doing to feed my depression but I usually key on the word “feed” hence I eat ice cream and sweets cuz I like them.  I’m not obese mind you. I’m kinda Teddy Bear snuggly right now.