Monday Morning


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I was awoken in the wee hours of the morning by a loud …

“CHIRP”

And after a short spell …

“CHIRP”

And after a spell of refusing to wake up and get out of bed …

“CHIRP”

Then after I started getting a wee bit PO’d because something interrupted my medication induced sex dream …

“CHIRP”

Then it dawned on me that the smoke detector in the bedroom was letting me know that the battery was low and needed replaced.  This meant dragging my butt out of my comfortable bed, locating a new battery, getting out the step ladder and then having to remove the damn detector from its mounting bracket.  Fortunately I had a package of spare batteries and I put one in the damn thing so I could get back to my dreaming.

I swear to almighty God that some damn engineer ensured a timing chip was placed in these things so they would “CHIRP” at 12:22 AM (0022).  There should be a law allowing us to designate engineers as potential shark bait.

I bet Jason and the Denver Broncos had something to do with the design of the smoke detectors.