I’ve got a great business idea!


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It just kinda sorta popped into my lil’ ol’ pea pickin’ brain of mine while I was in the shower getting all soaped up.  I know a great way to make some money.  I’ve met so many stoopid ‘Murican tourist dudes in my travels and I’ve found a lot of them to be extremely gullible and ever so willing to part with their money if something sounds kinda sorta thrilling, dangerous and sexy all wrapped up into one big and expensive adventure.

I think I’m gonna get me a sponsor, move to Australia, get a big ol’ boat, get permitting, find me some hottie Aussie ladies (which won’t be hard at all) for my brochures and web site and introduce these ‘Muricans to the greatest thrill and best kept secret of all time in Australia …

Hand feeding Great White Sharks without a shark cage!!!

Hell, I could probably even get Iggy and the Bat Boys to come help out if they’re willing to move out of the south land.  Hey guys, I’ve heard Aussie ladies really dig guys with southern accents so that just may interest you.  It’s true.  I read it on the net!  I bet my Navy bro may like to partner in this as well.  It would be one big joint venture.

I can see it all now laid out before me in high definition colour for the web site and the shiny brochures.  Yeh, I can see those pictures of those pretty Aussie ladies in their bikinis with their big ol’ smiles and perty hair with the caption …

“Come feed with me!”

I just know there’s a ton of older ‘Murican dudes (like my brother) that would just willing fork over their hard earned cashola thinking they’d be going out on some big ol’ boat with these ladies.  They’d sooooo willing sign a Release of Claims against us whenever those Aussie ladies flashed their pearlies at them.  That and these guys would ever so willingly fork over their cashola for overpriced drinks on the dock before we even leave.  Added to this would be the likelihood that the Aussie ladies would make like a gazillion Australian dollars in tips before the boat even left the dock.  These ‘Murican dudes are soooooo stoopid!  We’d be making money hand over fist and could buy our own bank in Switzerland just to handle the influx of cashola.  I bet that I could probably even get El Presidente to try it out!  This would be sooooo easy!

Oh crap!  I just realized that I just gave away a great business idea.  Well gee, Jim!  Way to go!  I can now hear some Aussie dude saying …

“Thanks for the business idear, mate!”

(It really does read a lot better if you use your inner Aussie dude voice when you read that line  Try it!  It’s mucher betterer and morer entertaining that way.)

Well crap!  I suppose there’s always “Sheep Roping and Rasslin’ in New Zealand“.  Oh crap!  I just gave that idea away to some Kiwi or some Maori.  Way to go, Jim!  I blame Jason and Gary.

Don’t link this Danny.  Let Jason and Gary find it on their own.  They have like what?  A hunderty billionty followers anywho?  Someone will let them know.  Besides, Jason’s wife wants him to shovel snow today.  He has no time for goofing off on WP with the chore list that I heard that she has for him.

My Weekend To Do List


1. Make a “To Do List”.

2. Check off the first thing cuz it’s done.

3. Realize how awesome it is that I’ve already gotten two things done that I can now check off.

4. Reward myself with a nap.

5. Check that off when I wake up.

6. Realize that I’ve gotten those two things done plus #3 and I’ve now checked off six things.

7. Reward myself with a cookie.

Life is good!  I bet Jason wishes he thought of a list like this.  Ha!  Time to blame Gary once again dude.