The Physician’s Assistant that works with my Neurologist wants me to give up coffee. Completely. As in ‘None”. “Nada”. “Do without”. Understand? After picking myself up off the floor from laughing my ass off, I told him I’d give it some thought. He then proceeded to give me a list of foods and beverages that I’m supposed to give up or avoid. Oh gee. I love lists. They’re fun to look at.
So let’s see some of what’s on this list …
- Coffee. Yeh right!
- Artificial sweeteners. No problem since I don’t use them anywho.
- Chocolate. Who wrote this list? A communist?
- Lima beans. That’s an easy one.
- Herring. Ditto.
- Pizza. Pizza? F **k off list!
- Nanners. Hey now! I’m getting older. Nanners help me .. well, you know.
- Citrus fruit. No oranges? How am I to drink screwdrivers without OJ?
- Sour cream. Shaaaa! That means no baked potatoes which obviously goes with steak.
OK, I’ll cut down on my coffee cuz I do like it blonde and sweet … well, really sweet actually. Besides, I kinda sorta hit another brick wall with offloading this excess weight that I’m carrying around and cutting back may help break that logjam. Give it up completely???
Sure, when I can fill my cup with Grey Goose instead.