5 Reasons why I hate the dreaded Minnesota Wingless Tree Dragons


1. They steal my nuts.  Yes, I put out a mixed blend of bird seed, fruit and peanuts for the birdies and these lil’ monsters like to come and eat up my nuts.

2. They have no respect. I open the door and yell at them whenever I catch them eating at the bird feeder and they have the audacity to give me the “Oh yeh?  F**k you!” look.  I think they learned this attitude from some Chicago wise guys.

3.  They are stealthy lil’ shits.  They sneak up on you behind your back and the next thing you know they’re busy chomping away on my nuts.  I think they learned some ninja skills from Jason.  I blame Gary for letting him teach them.

4. I’ve caught them staring at me thru my patio door with the look of “Did you know your bird feeder is empty?

5. They take their sweet ass time running away whenever I do eventually run them off.  Then they have the audacity to sit at a distance and flick their bushy lil’ tails with their Terminator attitude of “I’ll be back.”

I can’t win.