How I’m gonna explain the bump on my noggin


Here’s five different explanations since my oldest will freak a bit once she sees the bump on my forehead.

1. A horde of flying space monkeys attacked my neighbor and I had to do the neighborly thing by coming to his aid in his hour of need.  My military training kicked in and I reacted first and asked questions later.  We defended the Earth from an outer space menace and the world is safe once again.

2. One of my neighbors is an aspiring pitcher for the Chicago Cubs and one of his practice pitches got away from his catcher and “BONK!” it was on the noggin.  To placate me and keep me from suing him, he promised me some really good seats when he pitches in the Cubs next World Series.

3. The birds went crazy just like they did in the Hitchcock movie and a Sparrow connected with my head.  You can ask me what the airspeed is of an unladen Sparrow but I’d have to ask if you were asking about an African or English Sparrow.  You have to know these things when you’re the king, you know.

4. Some lady’s husband confused me for her boy friend and landed one on me.  He looks worse cuz I totally kicked some butt.  Jason would be proud of my ninja like moves.  Gary would be surprised that I can still do them at this age of my life.  The guy’s wife almost always looks totally awesome in high heels and a skirt.

5. A volcano erupted in downtown Minneapolis and I rushed in to rescue homeless puppies at a shelter.  I’m one of those people who would rather think of others before myself.

All of these are totally awesome and I’m sure she’ll easily buy into anyone of these explanations.

 

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37 thoughts on “How I’m gonna explain the bump on my noggin

      1. You know what … I knew a guy like you … after having a bit of a fall … he decided to trim the 10 foot hedge surrounding the property with nothing more than a ladder and a chainsaw. We almost all had heart failures … but he got the job done 🙂

        He was a very stubborn, resourceful loveable chap 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I would have said go for number 2 but there’s a high chance she’ll go meet the neighbour, so number 4 is pretty okay, since it’s just “some” lady. That said, she’s not gonna believe you. 😄

    Just come out to her with what happened.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a bump on my noggin too. Sorry I missed how yours really happened but mine happened when the corner of the bookshelf attached my forehead. No, I had not been into the sauce but rather just not paying attention. I hit is so hard I fainted and came too in a pool of the red stuff. Now Jim ol boy we are getting old and need to watch out heads. Take care of yourself. Louise

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    1. see we could have came up with a story about how you are a secret member of Canadian Special Intelligence and you were fighting a Taliban menace that was attempting to disrupt Canada’s 150 Year celebration.

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      1. You are a funny one. You got me, I am on a secret mission to save the American people from a terrible menace but decided to take the day off on Canada’s 150th but will be back at work on July 4th.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. A Perfectmindstorm

    I think you should tell her the truth. Otherwise you might end up with another bump on your noggin. You be careful you. I TOLD you that earlier and obviously you didn’t listen !

    Liked by 1 person

      1. A Perfectmindstorm

        I guess you can use # 4 . She might believe that but don’t tell that one to the Gummies. Use # 1 with them. They will think that is cool 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. what? you don’t believe any of these? you actually expect me to admit that I wasn’t paying attention while mowing the grass and “THUNK!” went my head against a low hanging crab apple tree branch? Pfft! that’s not even believeable.

      Liked by 1 person

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