Dear Brain

Let’s try to remember that your idea of a good time on a Thursday night and mine are two different things.  My idea involves good wine, good food and good company.  Your idea?  An ER visit and losing more blood to yet another vampire just plain sucks.

Let’s try again tomorrow to get this right.


OK brain …

We’re gonna go see the doctor, see?  And I’m expecting you to be on your best behavior, see?  And there aint gonna be no arguing with me, see?  And no misbehaving either, see?

So cooperate.

Some of my thought processes now

OK dude, we’re gonna take a shower.  Make sure you take off your clothes.  Make sure you actually turn the water on.  Make sure you use soap and shampoo before you rinse.  And for God’s sake make sure you turn the water off before you towel off.  Let’s get this right the first time.

I know what some of you are thinking.  Ha!  I fooled you.  We won’t talk about yesterday tho.  LOL!

This has possibilities for other posts.

God help me!


The conversation went something like this this morning …

My Boss: “But you’re coming back to work Monday, right?  Your note was only good for this week.

Me:  “I see the neurologist Monday afternoon.

My Boss:  “Yeh but you can come back to work on Monday.

Me:  “I have my laptop at home and Monday is a normal telework day.”

My Boss:  “Yeh but you can come in as normal starting Tuesday, right?

Me:  “Dude!  I can’t even walk normal right now and you want me to drive?

My Boss:  “Well how are you getting to the doctor’s?

Me:  “Someone is driving me.

My Boss:  “Oh.  So they could drive you to work.

Me:  “No.  The appointments were made after they get off work so they could take me.  They’re driving me cuz I’m still way off balance and I don’t want to drive feeling like that.  I may end up in someone’s front yard and they wouldn’t like that.  Neither would the police.

My Boss:  “Yeh but you could ride the bus.

Me.  “Dude!  That would be an hour and a half commute one way and I would still have to drive to get to the bus.”

My Boss:  “Yeh but you could come in to work.

Me:  “Yeh and I could end up killing myself and others because you want me to drive.  Oh wait.  I could have another confusion moment and end up riding the bus all day.  Wouldn’t that be fun?

My Boss:  “Yeh but you could come in to work.

Me.  “Let’s see what the doctors say and take it from there.  I’m sure people are enjoying an audit holiday right now so let’s not ruin their fun.

My Boss:  “Yeh but your note was only good for this week.

Me:  “Yeh but I’ll tell my doctor that you’re pushing me to drive so I end up killing myself just so I go to work to keep you happy.  I’m sure she’ll give me a new note.  That and maybe I’ll file for a reasonable accommodation under ADA and work from home indefinitely.  I’ll ask about a note like that to support the RA.”

My Boss:  “OK.  Maybe we’ll talk later.

Me:  “I’m sure we will.”