Let’s give this a go:
1. One word “doughnuts”. Yeh. You’re not suppose to have them. Oh they’ll say that you can have them in “moderation“. WTH is moderation? “Moderation” to me is one for each hand.
2. Two words “ice cream”. Oh yeh! I love it and especially the good stuff. and let’s not forget the caramel sauce, strawberry topping and hot fudge to top it off. Oh yeh, whip cream too. You can have that no more either. They say “You can have it in moderation.” There’s that damn “moderation” word again.
3. I hate when I now look in the mirror now and think “Ewww!” whereas before I used to think “What a hunka hunka burning love.” Why do I suspect Jason put Gary up to getting my mirror to lie to me now???
4. My scale still lies to me as well. I’ve been putting in 15,000 to 20,000 steps daily, watching what I eat and drinking that 64 ounces of water every day. I’m still stuck on that one number that keeps popping up on my scale. I think the SOB is broke … or it will be if I keep seeing that number for much longer. Oh yeh. As for that water, my skin may be clearer but damn I gotta go to the bathroom a lot.
5. I had some delirious delusion that I could compete on “Survivor” and really kick ass once I got back in better shape. Yeh, I’d compete on “Survivor“. It would be “Survivor Ritz Cracker“. Don’t get in the way of a food challenge right now. I’d bite your hands, legs, butts, whatever if you got in the way of me and a pizza. I can hear ya now. “Oh Jim. You can have pizza but have it in moderation.” There’s that damn “moderation” word again.