5 Ways to Make Staff Meetings More Fun


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  1. Have a “Seat of Shame” for whichever manager says something totally stupid or asks the dumbest question of the day.  They have to occupy that seat until someone asks the next dumbest question.  You need multiple seats if you work for the Fed.
  2. Have “Bullshit” flags to wave whenever some manager makes a claim that’s so totally off base that even a Catholic nun would look at them like they’re incredibly stupid.  The added bonus for these is it would provide added air movement during summer months.
  3. Have rating cards for people to display so we can rate your presentation.  It’s just your  tough luck that I rate just like an East German judge.
  4.  Have secret ejection seat buttons that you can press for that one idiot that keeps asking questions when everyone wants the meeting to end.  “Press”  “Where did Gary go?  Well I guess he really didn’t have any more questions to ask.”
  5. Invoke penalties for those whose presentations go over their allotted time.  “Oh my.  You went over by 5 minutes.  Your penalty is that you now have answer all shop steward complaints for a week. Oh wait … someone else already has that penalty.  In that case you have to put on this pirate costume and go outside and wave at traffic for the afternoon.  Don’t forget to say “Arrrrrrrr” while you’re doing it.”
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The end of the world is near


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OK, maybe not but that icky bad white stuff is due to hit us.  I’m doomed.  I’m really not a cold weather person.  I like my warm temps and blue skies and sun and warm breezes.  I like seeing my grass green and my flowers blooming.  Ugh!  Why did I decide to move here?