“Jim, come eat us.”
I obliged them. Now I’m wondering just how badly they screwed up my weight loss plan. Who knows? Maybe I’m better off being on one of them “weight gain prevention” programs so I just maintain where I’m at. The status quo. Détente. Mutually Assured Destruction. Now “Mutually Assured Destruction” is one helluva weight program. You don’t eat me and you don’t die.
Here’s another plan. Go to Lifetime Fitness and meet lil’ perky Stefanie who is all smiles and giggles, looks tight everywhere and looks great in them yoga pants. Don’t be fooled by this. It’s all a scheme. She’s only there to help separate you from your wallet. The only machine at Lifetime Fitness that I could use to impress her is the ATM there. No, what you end up for a trainer with is Helga who is a relic of the East German state. She has a much better beard than me and must have learned from the Marquis De Sade on how to work with the public. “Let’s go you puny little man! You’re all weak and soft. Work harder so it makes me want you.”
Now that’s a scary thought. I think I’ll stick with my chocolate chip cookies.